By the look of the title, you probably must be guessing it to be another tragic piece of writing. This, on the other hand, is just the opposite. I have been living in a new city the last few weeks. I know no one here. I have met new people who are really nice but I am currently not ready to foster new relationships. I don't despise them. I just need some time to wash away all of the bitterness that life has posed on me under the guise of some lessons. Sounds overboard, but yeah! I have already gone around most of the places in the first few days that I was here. Now I mostly go to my lab, grab my groceries on the way back and then head home. And I am growing to like it a lot. I am mostly in my own zone and its bringing out the best in me. I have always been my best company, mostly inside my head smirking and giggling. I may have been caught up in the bustle of the fast world for a long time; returning to myself has become one of my favorite sentiments. I have been romanticizing my life and it feels so good to picture myself as the main character. Apart from my family and a few friends, I have been limiting my social interactions. Nothing personal, just need a break. And its impossible to deny how peaceful it is. This is just what I needed. This is amazing. I don't intend to stay in this city for long but for the time that I am here, I want to take the chance to embrace myself again. "You have been through terrible things. But you will be okay", I am telling myself this.
Currently, the things I have mostly been doing are growing bacteria in the lab, reading articles at home and listening to music whenever I find time in between. What I really look forward to everyday is the walk from my home to my lab and back with my music playing in my earphones. It heals me. Everyday I am getting better. In the midst of every crazy thing that happens in life, there a place of calm and power. Right now, I feel I am there. I am happy and I am appreciative of all that I have: for my parents, for God, for health and for being able to meet my basic necessities. I am in love with life and, even more so, with the person I am becoming. I am learning everyday and I intend to live by those lessons. I will always be there for myself. Every time I fall, I'll be the shoulder to cry on and the hand to pick myself up after the tears. I'll give myself a pat on the back for every small task I accomplish. From the beginning to the end, I will accept, forgive, and love myself. These are the promises I'm making to myself, and I'm keeping them.
This piece reminded me of a song from Rabindranath Tagore.
Ekla Chalo re
Jodi tor dak sune keu na ashe,
Tobe ekla cholo, ekla chalo, aekla chalo re,
Aikla cholo re,
If no one answers your call,
Then walk alone,
(be not afraid) walk alone my friend.
Jodi kue kotha na koe,
ore o re o obaghaga, keu kotha na koe
Jodi sobai thake muhk phirae , sobai kore bhoye,
Tobe poran khule,
O tui, mukh phute tor moner kotha,
Ekla bolo re
If no one talks to you,
O my unlucky friend, if no one speaks to you,
If everyone looks the other way and everyone is afraid,
Then bare your soul and let out what is in your mind,
(be not afraid) Speak alone my friend.
Jab kali ghata chaye,
Ore o re o andhera sach ko nigal jaye
Jab duniya sari, dar ke age sar apna jhukaye,
Tu shola banja, Wo shola banja, Jo khud jal ke jahan raushan karde,
Ekla jalo re.
When dark clouds cover the sky, When darkness engulfs the truth,
When the world cowers and bows before fear,
You be the flame, The flame that burns you and banishes darkness from the world,
(be not afraid) Burn alone my friend.